Cuntfessions
Got a guilty conscience? A secret crush? Something weighing on your mind? Unload your deepest and darkest here... our lips are sealed. Send submissions to cuntfessions@wherethegirlsgo.com-
My straight 40 yr old pregnant coworker turns me on
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I like your dirty bathroom. I’m not perfect either.
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TO THE CUTE BRUNETTE BARISTA AT BIG BEAR WITH THE SQUARE TATTOO ON HER ARM:
Please cease your cuteness immediately. You’re messing with my game. I’m a badass motherfucker with a reputation to protect! I’ve bike-of-shame’d home from more Mount Pleasant group houses than one of Ralph Nader’s clipboard-toting interns could hit in a month....
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Dear Phase1 jello wrestling MC,
Never thought I'd enjoy hearing the word "scissor" shouted through the PA system, but the way you say it gives me hot, sweaty, gelatinous butterflies. Next time, I'll be the one with a little extra jiggle in my step. You...
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I was the girl across the Cobalt dance floor
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…Sometimes I stop to check out a cute queer only to realize
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To the girl with the pirate eye patch,
You were at Phase 1 and the weather was still hot outside. Hot enough that you were wearing cut-off jean shorts—at an appropriate andro, hipster length—and a white V-neck. I noticed you on the dance floor, keeping a decent amount...
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To My Pretty Neighbor on the 6th Floor
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This song reminds me of you.
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You’ve made this girl into an “ass man”
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Dykes making trikes
Last weekend, I locked my bicycle to yours, hoping they'd make a tiny tricycle baby together. It'd have your seat, my handlebars, and a bell that'd carry for miles.
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Black Cat Crush
I see you smoking outside the Black Cat when I'm all sweaty from dancing at Backdoor. I think you work there, are straight, and have zero patience for awkward queer girls. Basically, you're just my type, intense waifish...
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Just call me Cinderella
The night of our first date—after we made out in your car for an hour on 14th Street—I purposely left one of my earrings behind, under the passenger seat, so I'd have an excuse to call you again.
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Backstreet Bois
I listen to "I Want It That Way" when I miss you. Maybe it could be "our" song?
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Strapped and Single
Three days before we broke up, you left your harness at my house. Good luck getting that one back, honey.
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Cliterally…
...the best piece at the National Gallery's Sculpture Garden. I'm a big grrrl now.
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Dear Psychotic, Manic Ex:
Admit that you threw away all my left shoes. And I will admit that I did try to sleep with your best friend on several occasions...but not that one time; I was really confused on whose bed I was in......
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when i told you i liked the chocolate ones best,
i really meant you. my beautiful african queen.
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I upgraded to an iPhone 4 this summer and lost it exactly 12 hours later.
It was 5am and I was being fingered in the backseat of a cab by a hot femme I had just met. I guess I had other things on my mind?
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