To the girl with the pirate eye patch,
You were at Phase 1 and the weather was still hot outside. Hot enough that you were wearing cut-off jean shorts—at an appropriate andro, hipster length—and a white V-neck. I noticed you on the dance floor, keeping a decent amount of space between you and the girl next to you. Obviously, the two of you were just friends. I tried to catch your eye—the one not covered by an eye patch—but you barely noticed.
You were cute. In fact, I tried to make eye contact with you all night. Too scared to go over and approach you in your black and gray vans and Justin Beiber bangs. I wish I had. I bought you a PBR—not to be presumptuous but you seemed like the kinda girl who drinks PBR—but then I was too afraid to give it to you so I drank it myself and went home.
I’m not awkward or ugly I swear. Just shy. But I’ll be at Phase this Saturday, wearing an eye patch and holding a PBR. Come find me.